Mein Mohn lässt seine erste Blüte tanzen und ich fühl' mich leicht ...

So leicht, ... das ich heute kurz über das letzte halbe Jahr - welches im Zeichen der Veränderung stand - schreiben möchte. Für mich lagen viele neue Eindrücke bereit und ich habe mir meine Kraft gut eingeteilt, um nicht aus meiner Mitte gerissen zu werden.

Seit Kindesbeinen schlägt mein Herz für Menschen, die es in unserer Gesellschaft nicht so leicht haben. Eigentlich habe ich immer gedacht, das ich in der Obdachlosenhilfe eines Tages aktiv werden würde ... aber ... vorerst ist es die Hospizarbeit, der ich meine Zeit schenke. Im Januar begann ich meine Ausbildung als Sterbebegleiterin. Das Einführungswochenende war für alle zehn Teilnehmer sehr tränenreich, da man rhetorisch klug an seine Grenzen gebracht wurde; sein Leben aus einem anderen Blickwinkel betrachtete. Nach vielen lehrreichen theoretischen Stunden absolvierte ich ein Praktikum in einem Pflegeheim, um kurze Zeit später - gestärkt durch die vielen Antworten, die ich sammelte - in die Wirklichkeit einzutauchen. Meine erste Begleitung - die in der letzten Woche endete - lief über sieben Wochen und im nachhinein habe ich das Gefühl unter "göttlicher Führung" zu stehen.

Zu alledem gesellte sich mein kleiner innerer "Headhunter" (der hatte schon viel zu lange geschlafen!) und besorgte mir einen Job. Kaufmännisch unterstütze ich nun meine Freundin Bianca, die eine Physiotherapiepraxis mit fünfzehn Mitarbeitern übernommen hat. Tja, nun könnt ihr Euch sicherlich erklären, warum es hier keine Perlenflut gegeben hat ... und ... es stiller ist als sonst.

Geniesst den ewigen Augenblick,



The first blossom of my poppy seed dances and I feel easily ...

So easily ... that I like to write shortly about the last six months which were under the sign of changes. I was poised for lots of new impressions and redivided my strength for being centered.

Since early childhood my heart beats for people who struggle in our community. Actually I always thought that I would be active in homeless shelter ... but ... for the time being it's the hospice I like to give my time. In January I started my education as a caretaker. The introductory weekend was very teary for all ten participants as we were guided rhetorically smart on one's limitations; looked at our lifes from different points of views. After lots of informative hours I had a training in a nursing home and dunked a bit later into reality ... starched by many answers collected. My first terminal care - which ended last week - took seven weeks and was a blessing in disguise as I had the feeling to be under "divine guidance".

In the middle of all these news my inner "headhunter" (which slept for a long time!) woke up and got active. Beginning of May I started to support my girl-friend Bianca commercially who took over a practice for physiotherapy with fifteen employees. Well, now you might be able to understand why there weren't a lot of beads around ... and ... why it is a bit more silent.

Enjoy the eternal moment,



At the weekend I realized that heaven's here on earth ...! Bernd & me were filled with a powerful calmness the very second we entered the garden of Klaus Bender & Manfred Lucenc. I've never ever been to a place with such a high potential of positive energy. Having the chance to talk with the owners in person was topped by a gift we got before we left. The fantastic flower you see in the picture got home safely. Now I'm looking forward to touch those leaves of fur ... reminding me of precious moments.



Every cloud has a silver lining ...

Ain't it beautiful ...?! My little viola cornuta started to bloom on May, 2nd ... and I'm more than impressed. The combination of the black blossoms and the tiny yellow spot in the middle (which looks a bit like a murrini!) is really extraordinary. If you feel like you need a bigger picture of this cool flower don't hesitate to visit FLICKR.

Sunny greetings from the garden,



I'm sure you're in the light at the corner of the earth. I know this corner of the earth it smiles at me ... forever.

As every blossom wilts and every youth yield to age blooms every step of life, and every wisdom and every virtue in its time and shall not last. At every step in life must the heart be prepared for loss and new beginnings, with courage and without sorrow in others, to offer new attachments/bonds. And in every beginning there is a magic, that protects us and helps us to live. We should cheerfully stride from place to place without attachment to any one or nation. The world's spirit shall not make us captive, but will lift us from step to step, onwards. Scarcely as we are come into life and are finally at home, then threatens loss of vigor. Only those who are ready to depart and travel, may be comfortable with this. It will perhaps that the hour of our death will show us yet new possibilities. Life's call shall not end. Therefore, my heart, grasp both the farewell and with it be well.

(Hermann Hesse)

Wie jede Blüte welkt und jede Jugend
Dem Alter weicht, blüht jede Lebensstufe,
blüht jede Weisheit auch und jede Tugend
Zu ihrer Zeit und darf nicht ewig dauern
Es muß das Herz bei jedem Lebensrufe
Bereit zum Abschied sein und Neubeginne,
Um sich in Tapferkeit und ohne Trauern
In andre, neue Bindungen zu geben.
Und jedem Anfang wohnt ein Zauber inne,
Der uns beschützt und der uns hilft, zu leben.

Wir sollen heiter Raum um Raum durchschreiten,
An keinem wie an einer Heimat hängen,
Der Weltgeist will nicht fesseln uns und engen,
Er will uns Stuf' um Stufe heben, weiten.
Kaum sind wir heimisch einem Lebenskreise
Und traulich eingewohnt, so droht Erschlaffen.

Nur wer bereit zu Aufbruch ist und Reise,
Mag lähmender Gewöhnung sich entraffen.
Es wird vielleicht auch noch die Todesstunde
Uns neuen Räumen jung entgegen senden,
Des Lebens Ruf an uns wird niemals enden...
Wohlan denn, Herz, nimm Abschied und gesunde!

(Hermann Hesse)

I still remember the day when Rita gave me these lines in New York seventeen years ago. She visited Peter - her brother who studied at the Drummers Collective - and me to spend a few days together. With the sheet of paper in my hand we hugged each other as if we knew that we won't see us for a long time. The most horrible part for me was not to break the news to Peter ... it was - and deep in my heart it still is - the fact that I could not join the funeral in Germany. I knew that I was missing an important part --- time to say good-bye --- while I was "a lonely Eva in Big-Apple-Paradise" ...

Five months later when I got home I thought about visiting her grave ... but ... believe it or not ... it took me thirteen years to finally go there. I'm glad that nobody picked on me or named me heartless. It was a matter of fact that my own rituals were stronger than a piece of land I had no connection to. Today I'll rest a bit ... light a candle nearby her framed picture ... smell the flavor of a pink rose ... take a sip of Campari-O ... say "CHEERS" ... cry and laugh while talking about wonderful moments ...

THANKS, for "listening" ...!