MISS : YOU

I'm sure you're in the light at the corner of the earth. I know this corner of the earth it smiles at me ... forever.

As every blossom wilts and every youth yield to age blooms every step of life, and every wisdom and every virtue in its time and shall not last. At every step in life must the heart be prepared for loss and new beginnings, with courage and without sorrow in others, to offer new attachments/bonds. And in every beginning there is a magic, that protects us and helps us to live. We should cheerfully stride from place to place without attachment to any one or nation. The world's spirit shall not make us captive, but will lift us from step to step, onwards. Scarcely as we are come into life and are finally at home, then threatens loss of vigor. Only those who are ready to depart and travel, may be comfortable with this. It will perhaps that the hour of our death will show us yet new possibilities. Life's call shall not end. Therefore, my heart, grasp both the farewell and with it be well.

(Hermann Hesse)

Wie jede Blüte welkt und jede Jugend
Dem Alter weicht, blüht jede Lebensstufe,
blüht jede Weisheit auch und jede Tugend
Zu ihrer Zeit und darf nicht ewig dauern
Es muß das Herz bei jedem Lebensrufe
Bereit zum Abschied sein und Neubeginne,
Um sich in Tapferkeit und ohne Trauern
In andre, neue Bindungen zu geben.
Und jedem Anfang wohnt ein Zauber inne,
Der uns beschützt und der uns hilft, zu leben.

Wir sollen heiter Raum um Raum durchschreiten,
An keinem wie an einer Heimat hängen,
Der Weltgeist will nicht fesseln uns und engen,
Er will uns Stuf' um Stufe heben, weiten.
Kaum sind wir heimisch einem Lebenskreise
Und traulich eingewohnt, so droht Erschlaffen.

Nur wer bereit zu Aufbruch ist und Reise,
Mag lähmender Gewöhnung sich entraffen.
Es wird vielleicht auch noch die Todesstunde
Uns neuen Räumen jung entgegen senden,
Des Lebens Ruf an uns wird niemals enden...
Wohlan denn, Herz, nimm Abschied und gesunde!

(Hermann Hesse)

I still remember the day when Rita gave me these lines in New York seventeen years ago. She visited Peter - her brother who studied at the Drummers Collective - and me to spend a few days together. With the sheet of paper in my hand we hugged each other as if we knew that we won't see us for a long time. The most horrible part for me was not to break the news to Peter ... it was - and deep in my heart it still is - the fact that I could not join the funeral in Germany. I knew that I was missing an important part --- time to say good-bye --- while I was "a lonely Eva in Big-Apple-Paradise" ...

Five months later when I got home I thought about visiting her grave ... but ... believe it or not ... it took me thirteen years to finally go there. I'm glad that nobody picked on me or named me heartless. It was a matter of fact that my own rituals were stronger than a piece of land I had no connection to. Today I'll rest a bit ... light a candle nearby her framed picture ... smell the flavor of a pink rose ... take a sip of Campari-O ... say "CHEERS" ... cry and laugh while talking about wonderful moments ...

THANKS, for "listening" ...!

Good-Bye,

PEtra